Tana to Toliara

01 Apr 2008
I feel as if I am standing on a ray. It starts at zero and goes towards infinity. It represents my time here and my ability to understand this place (spatially, culturally, economically, etc.). I'm standing somewhere to the right of zero. When I look back towards the beginning I can say "wow, look what i've learned, look how far I've come" but when I turn around, well, i've haven't moved at all. Maybe I should stand with an eye in each direction.

It's hard to believe that it's april and that i'm in this crazy city in Madagascar. Taking a shower here makes me feel like i"m in a bourne movie. (where's the black hair dye and scissors?)

03 Apr. 2008
We visited a zoo in Tana today. I know it's good for city folk to see and understand what wildlife is, but it was rather depressing. Large, beautiful birds of prey in a cage the size of a living room, a small living room. I saw many species of lemurs, but there was no glamour, no excitement. Just sadness staring at them through their screens.

We also visited an orphanage north of Tana: Orpheliat Akany Avoko. 120 children, mostly girls with 2 housing facilities. Most girls end up there through the Malagasy social work system, ie they have really terrible stories. We visited just to see, but also to learn about the environmentally friendly things they are doing simply out of necessity. Compost toilets, rainwater collection, solar ovens, make different charcoal and use with a fuel effecient stove, biogaz toilet, etc. They have a small school for the younger kids, and then they go to school outside. However, for girls that show up 16 yrs old never having learned to read....they put them on a different track and learn vocational type work: hairdressers, mofakondro baking, etc. They also use recycled paper to make paper again and make greeting cards, etc that they sell in a shop. All the proceeds go directly to the girls. THey also have a printshop and can make/sell t=shirts. We got to spend some time with the youngest kids. Overall, I was quite impressed! However, I also have to realise that this represents only a small portion of Malagasy homeless or abused children. The kids here are relatively lucky.

5 Apr.
How do we really understand eachother? What is communication? Is it all just words, words, and speaking without understanding? Is there always too much background information? Are there too many unspoken's? Are my ways of thinking, patterns of thought, categories of ideas, incompatible with others?

Being here has become a reality. It's weird to think that in a month or so it will no longer be a reality. I come here and don't belong in distinct ways, but Madagascar changes me nonetheless. So when I come home, do I really belong there either? Obviously I think it's worth it....otherwise there would have been no journey.

Right now if I were given the opportunity to worship with others, I would whole=heartedly. But where is my faith of a mustard seed? God's word is not exciting... I can't give my full attention to it. Not to meditation or prayer. I'm distracted by my own insecurities, anxiousness, thoughts, etc.

Then amongst all my rambling thoughts concerning belief in God what do I see posted on the taxi brousse wall, "Je suis avec vous tous les jours." (I am with you all the days) I don't know, I may not ever know.....and that's okay.

8 Apr.
Taxi-brousse: small van piled high, high, HIGH with tarps and rope to tie everything in place. Hard seats, 14 people or so, ride for over 24 hours, stop and ward off the vendors (scarves, mof balls, chicken, simosas, corn, rice cakes, none of which looks appetizing after 19 hours in a car), esape to pee, back ache, left leg no circulation, neck popping, where do I put my arm? I'm telling you, there's definitly room for my head there....

I"m in Toliara now working with medicinal plant vendors. I'll be in the field by the end of the week documenting medicinal plants of SW Madagascar. Basically my info will help (in small part) in the creation of an environmental education center near a small fishing village (Ankilibe 15 km south of toliara). A guy from WWF is the brainchild. He's working with others to try to get the funding from various organisations.

I had my first interviews with vendors today and it was GREAT! so much worry and it was really quite easy. Evette, the main gal, was so smiling and friendly. She was excited to share her knowledge with me. Moreover, now the first one is over. The rest are going to be really manageable....

love to EVERYONE,
emily